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I am a typical Confused Desi !!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Path to Independence...

March 2006: landed in Frozenland
April: got the instruction booklet from DMV for obtaining DL
May: got all the required documents including utility bill, telephone bill, bank statements, Marriage certificate, Passport, Insurance documents etc and landed in DMV office

Scene 1:
old lady: provide your documents please
me: meekly handed them
old lady: H4 visa? mmmmmm can't issue learner's permit, next please.
me: gulp
hubby: there are thousands in this country who are on H4 visas and have DL
old lady: no they don't
hubby: do you think I am lying?
old lady: silence
hubby: stomps out of the office and me running to keep up with him

Scene 2: 
old lady: how can I help you
hubby: "its us again" while holding paper in her face showing a list of visa holders who are eligible to obtain DL in US
old lady: where is her SSN
me: I dont have a SSN
old lady: looks at me from top to bottom; probably wondering in her mind "should I call the cops and hand over this alien to them?"
looks at hubby, "well I cant issue her a learner's permit without a SSN"
hubby: stomps out of the office and me running to keep up with him

me: If I dont get a license I will go back to India, sniff...
hubby: opens his mouth, says nothing...takes a deep breath and then in his sweetest possible voice tells me, "If you dont get a license I will do my level best to drive you where ever you want okay? You can sit like a queen next to me."
me: pondering over that idea for 5 seconds and then, "no, I want to drive on my own"
hubby: another deep breath....

Scene 3: SSN Office

Letter obtained stating that H4 visa holders are non-immigrant aliens who are not eligible for a SSN. Process takes about 1/2 hour.
Me looking at the letter: Its official, "My brain is out of this world"
Hubby: Pats me on the head, "Want to stop at Dunking Donuts for some Coffee to keep your brain working"
Me: "Sure, but you have to order for me too, people have trouble understanding the english coming out of this aliens mouth"

Scene 4: DMV office

old lady: crosses her arms and stands in a confrontary manner as soon as she sees us enter the door
hubby: here is the letter from the SSN office and the rest of the documents. Now let her take the test
old lady: this letter CLEARLY states that she is not eligible for a SSN and without a SSN she cannot take the test
hubby: Where does it say on your website that H4 visa holders cannot take the test?
old lady: you will have to find out for yourself, moves away to a table nearby
Middle-aged lady who was standing behind the old lady: hands hubby a folded paper and signals to go away
hubby: stomps out of the office and me running to keep up with him

Outside the DMV we open the paper and this is what was written " GO TO THE DMV OFFICE IN THE NEXT TOWN !!!!"

Scene 5: DMV office in the next town

Obtained my learner's permit without any hassle. 
Me: smiling brightly "your car now belongs to this alien"
Hubby: chuckling, "Alien still needs this Earthling to sit beside her while driving or else Alien will become property of government"
Me: "Oh no, Alien doesnt want to be poked around in jail; Alien will listen to Earthling"

August 2006: started driving lessons
october: snowfall
January 2007: passed road test with flying colors in spite of snowfall during the test; got DL

me: smiling brightly "your car now belongs to this alien"
Hubby: chuckling,"Alien needs to make sure the car is well maintained; Alien has to get oil-changes, tyre rotation, service/maintainance, check tyre pressure, add anti-freeze solution, change wiper blades periodically, vacuum the car, get the car washed..."
Alien: automatic language translator cells in head shutting-down; communication not effective; bleep.

Hubby: Want to stop at Dunking Donuts for some Coffee?
Alien: "Coffee"? language translator cells whirring back to life...
REPLY: "Sure, coffee + blueberry bagel with egg & cream cheese;
REPLY: "Sure, coffee + blueberry bagel with egg & cream cheese;
REPLY: "Sure, coffee + blueberry bagel with egg & cream cheese;
REPLY: "Sure, coffee + blueberry bagel with egg & cream cheese;
REPLY : "but you have to order for me too, people have trouble understanding the english coming out of this aliens mouth"



  1. ROFL!! Aioo I have my own sob story of DMV and have decided to keep the services of my home chauffeur for the time being rather than visit the DMV again and again.

    Btw Alien you should have run outside before ur hubby the second time so that you could have saved on all the catching up??

    This Alien I can see is just like me when it comes to numbers March 2007 landed in frozenland....August 2006 started driving lessons....choory gal couldn't help noticing it...go go correct it before the FBI locks u up for confusing Americans.

  2. How many ever times I hear this story I never get tired of it!!

  3. Hey anyway comments have to get ur approval can you pleasseee remove that stupid word verification?

  4. Sakshi,
    would luv to hear your story of DMV !!!

    Alien was very very very slow in responding to anything and everything when it landed in Planet US...So while Alien was trying hard to make sense of what the old lady just told, hubby would be out of the door !!!

    and infinity+one thanks for pointing out the numbers jumble-up :)
    you saved me !!!


  5. SJ,
    and I never get tired of telling this story !!!

    and for one of my friends here, the people in DMV were adamant about seeing her birth-certificate !!! the DOB in passport was not enough for them...her parents had to make several trips to the Municipality office in India...

    and yeah, removed the word verification thing...

  6. LOL !!!!!!! funny...but seriously, they call you "Aliens"?

  7. Well written! I love your humorous style! In the end we are all left wondering - what is all this worth?

  8. lol..this was real scarry..so many rounds to the DMV office, i wud have given up.
    way to go lady!! the stu old lady cudnt tell u in the first place abt the other office location where they did it for H4 guys!!
    u shud have gone in and sacked them the moment u opened and saw the other location address!!

  9. hahahhahhhaha...

    hello, alien!! :-)

  10. Sowmya,
    Yup, thats what we are called..."Aliens"!!!!

    thank you!!! yeah, I wonder abt it everyday...

    that stu old lady was hell bent on not letting me take the test; I bet that woman never knew the rules properly; adamant old lady !!!
    if not for the young lady who gave us the chit telling us abt the other DMV location, I guess we would have made several more futile trips to this DMV...

    Hello Hello enjoy your weekend bleeeep :)

  11. good humor....loved it.
    can't believe that they really call 'alien'...
    and it's good that i know now that your language translator shuts up conveniently...lolz...n when the alien started liking the blueberry bagels n donuts..... availability theory???

  12. Sangeeta,
    thank you!!!
    ya, we are called non-immigrant aliens!!! sigh...
    "availability theory"- LOL !!! ya, I guess so, heehee...

  13. hahahahahahahahahah Too hilarious ranju !!!! I also have a rather hilarious DL obtaining story. Will tell sometime fursat main :)

  14. Prashanti,
    thank you!!!! cant wait to hear your story :)

  15. Hey...

    thanks for your comment. Its surprising to know that that so many people had DL issues, strangely i havnt heard of any bad experiences here. What state are you in?

  16. @God Made Me fuNky,

    was in winter wonderland Michigan when this incident happened...thanks for stopping by :)