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I am a typical Confused Desi !!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Done with post, and now thinking of title... how about this? "They sweat yet they smile; we mask the sweat and wipe the smile" too much, huh?



Sure, people have the right to complain about anything/everything in their blogs...
but complaining without trying to solve the problem?
I said "trying"... what am I talking about?

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I woke up from my slumber to the hullabaloo in the blogging world(like this) and thought I will pen down, err type down my thoughts too...

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To all my fellow Indians(by birth or by blood)... 

Most of us have come here from there crossing the oceans in between thinking the grass is "greener" on this side. But now that we are on the "greener" side what are we doing to help the other side? Do we just complain of the weeds on the other side, laugh at it from time to time?
OR
 do something in getting rid of the weeds and make sure the grass is "greener" on the other side too?

Sure, we should appreciate the good things in US of A: better government, money, cars, less corruption, cleaner air, clean roads and the list goes on............
Now that we are surrounded by "good" things, should we mock the other side for not having them?
OR
help them have the "good" things too?

About 2 years back, me & my hubby and a group of good friends were talking about how things work here and in India...
One of my friend's opinion was: "people are so disciplined/obey rules  and keep everything neat here because they are afraid that they are going to be fined if they don't follow the rules set by the government. India will only improve if government fines them for everything "
Me: "Very True... But we can't always depend on the government to do EVERYTHING; waiting for it to set rules so that we can follow them. BLINDLY following rules doesn't help in the long run.
What is more important is to know/judge what is GOOD and what is BAD; and do the GOOD.
Set GOOD examples for your children and others. "

The argument continued for about 1 hour and then I asked him this question:"Why do you hold the door open for someone behind you?"

His answer: "well... because it is a GOOD thing to do"
Me: " but there is no such rule in America that asks you to do so?""
Him: "No...but I saw others doing it here and I started doing it too..."
Me: "So you are basically following a GOOD example set by other people?"
Him: " YES !!! "

Coming to the point: how can we pass on the "GOOD" that we have gained in this country back home in India?

The answer is:
  1. Educate people.
  2. Start with your family and friends there.
  3. Action speak louder than words: display the basic courtesies that you display in America in India too !!! People may tag you "fresh from America." But your goal should be to make "India fresh too." Last summer, on my way to Bangalore, India, I had to change flights in Frankfurt, Germany (Lufthansa Airways). About 95% of the people boarding the flight in Frankfurt were Indians. As soon as the flight name was announced more than half of them rushed towards the gate as if their seat in the plane would be taken over by someone else if they didn't hurry !!! The flight attendants could only roll their eyes and step to the side. These same people would have shown the highest(infinity +one) form of courtesy while boarding their flights in America. I guess, as most Indians go away from America or are nearing India, they throw all their manners to thin air and dance dunkanakka dunkannakka jakkanakka hai hai ahoi...WHY ??? For a moment I thought my friend was right, do Indians need someone to monitor their good behavior always??? Can't people do something good because they want to and not because they have to??? But then I thought, these are the NRIs!!! The so called "cultured" people going to India to visit their "not so cultured" relatives and friends. The word "Culture"  certainly has to be redefined I felt !!!
  4. NRIs, Instead of complaining about the pollution/noise/dirt/crowd in India, think about ways to fight such problems. Maybe at least one person in India who will follow that.
One of my aunts came to the "greener" part of the world almost 30 years back. Whenever she used to visit us in India she made it a point to never complain/fret/frown about the dirt/pollution. She made sure her son did not too.
I came to US 3 years back. Saw the difference in "quality" of air. But made it a point not to compare things b/w US and India when I went there last summer.
Everyone knows it, but what's the point in comparing about the "quality" of air while the A/C unit of our house here in America is emitting what-not in the background?
I am not saying the pollution in India did not bother me. I did suffer from throat irritation/congestion when I was in Bangalore, but when I came back to the US all I could talk about was the good fun/food and most of all the amazing time I had with my family. One year after my visit I do not remember the "kochche smell", but I certainly cannot ever forget the assuring smell of my mom that I got when I hugged her in the Bangalore airport. When I close my eyes and think of her, I still get that whiff of amma-smell, I just dont know how to describe it...sigh... 

Besides sitting and complaining without "trying" to solve the problem, nah... I would rather not complain at all... 

True, we all are busy with our own lives trying to cope up with the pressures of staying in this "green" land. But I thought there must be some way to help. One which doesn't require much effort/time from my side as of now. Shouldn't burn a big hole in my student stipend.

Something small to start with.......

I talked to my sister about Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." Asked her if it could be screened in her engineering college. 
She talked to her principal and with her amazing organizing skills managed to arrange a screening of the documentary at one of the college events.

I don't know how many people got the message or if they even understood the documentary. But even if one single person decides to become a part of the solution, it is worth it. 
At least I have the satisfaction of trying to make the grass on the other side "greener" too and am proud of my sister!!! 

Its a small step. Some people ask "eh? so what? did it help?"

I don't know. But I "tried."

No matter what, I am an Indian. Just because I drink American water doesn't change my blood. There has not been a single day that has passed in the last 3 years of my life without me thinking about India. And those thoughts are always the ones of my family, the laughter, the stress-free, A/C free, not so rich in terms of money, but so stinking-rich in terms of emotional safety days, that I did not need a blog to express my feelings days, hop on my Luna-Super to drive to my friends house to talk with her days, have half-hour conversations with the aunty across the street sitting on my compound wall(yeah I still use both these words together) while she was tending to her garden that occupied the footpath in front of her house days, go for a walk with my parents and sister in the dark streets to eat churmuri when there was no current and hence no TV and fan in the house thanks to KEB's load shedding days, take the Luna-super for puncture repair to the self-trained repair man with the wooden-dabba shop, buy a churmuri from the gaadi near by  and the puncture is repaired by the time I finished eating the churmuri days...

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And finally, I would like to end by talking about the grass again:

"Has anyone ever thought about how obsessed this country is about making the lawn look green and beautiful? Imagine the amount of cheap chemical fertilizers, herbicides, fungicides etc poured down into the soil by the millions of home-owners while still making sure that their kids eat organic vegetables. How about switching to the eco-friendly natural products to maintain the lawn, eco-friendly laundry detergents, dish washing soap etc., ? 
Sure they are costly. But what about the price in terms of pollution?"

cough cough...

and just today morning I waited 3 hours in Walmart to get puncture repaired and tyre rotation done for my car with no churmuri but instead listening to songs on my Ipod sitting in a waiting room with Samsung flat screen TV and vending machine for ice-cold Pepsi. But still I had a frown on my face the entire 3 hours of my wait.

Did the American President invite me to come to this country? No...It was my choice...

Why don't I just go back to India if I love my country so much?

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"Dhobi ka Kuththa na Ghar ka Na Ghat Ka"

But no matter where I am, Blood is always thicker than water...I have India in me...

more on this later... Rava dosa waiting for me...

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@ SJ, Anytime for India, SJ, Anytime for India... As I have said in the post, you set a "GOOD" example for standing up for India, I followed it... See Indians are changing one person at a time, hurray!!! how about we set some more "GOOD" examples so that people can follow it? Right now I am looking for a video that educates people on how to behave during disasters like the Bombay blasts, something that should pertain to crowd-management. If anyone knows any educational video like such, please let me know !!! and SJ, thanks for the awakening!!! well done!!!

9 comments:

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  3. Beautifully written, "One year after my visit I do not remember the "kochche smell", but I certainly cannot ever forget the assuring smell of my mom that I got when I hugged her in the Bangalore airport. When I close my eyes and think of her, I still get that whiff of amma-smell, I just dont know how to describe it...sigh... " brought tears :( People who know what is genuine love and family ties will agree with you. yes, emotionally rich that is what India is about ~weep~ wanna go back :(
    To me bitching about India is akin to saying I loved my mom when she was 25 not when she is 78 because she has loads of wrinkles, she has no bladder control etc. I have no educational videos like that but teaching people to follow rules and recycle, recycle, recycle.
    Every country has its good and bad. If one just wants to project the bad all the time- then its time for a mental check-up.
    Ranju I am immensely happy that you came up with this post. I am linking this one to my post!

    I took your reply in a positive way removed the personal attacks- but going to lift weights to get rid of all that negative karma.

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  4. SJ, I understand how you feel gal !!! My blood still boiling...
    And I am very proud of you for reacting so quickly to my comment!!! thats the spirit!!! Kudos!!!
    haahaa, the negative karma went away the moment you changed the comment...I wish people would do the same about their India-bashing comments too...
    Keep up the good work!!!

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  6. Add one more blood boiling Indian to your list will ya?? And yeah when you need to take a step towards educating our people to make our country better remember you are not alone; there are many many Indians all over the world ready to hold your hands and take that step with you. At present am a bit low on my commenting fuel (ask SJ she is quiet fed up of my comment bombing on her blog) but will be back here..and yeah I too say compound wall...shesh is it not a part of Webster's dictionary??
    loved your title more than anything...

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  8. @ Sakshi,
    welcome to the support India-group started by SJ...thanks for the support !!! I guess it will be a long time before they include compound-wall into Webster's unless someone decides to put that word in Slumdog Millionare-2 script and then the whole world will start using it !!! heehee...

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  9. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/09/world/asia/09gated.html?_r=2 Check this out!

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